I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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