Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light

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(530): View more from California

He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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(516): View more from New York

Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.

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(917): View more from New York City

He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now

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(406): View more from Montana

Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.

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(281): View more from Texas

I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

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(210): View more from Texas

I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.

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