We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
