he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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