it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
