K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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