he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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