I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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