She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
