I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize