is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
