Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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