ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i dont even know how to be here
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
