Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
