I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your cock deserves a montage
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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