So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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