Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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