last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize