ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Randomize
