U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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