Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
