i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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