Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize