so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
