I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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