My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She's the barista slut.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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