All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they're like a gay fantastic four
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
