i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
