I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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