yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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