She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
