I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
