Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
