is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
