JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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