at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
