if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
