Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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