In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
