i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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