absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sext me about skeletons
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
