I can't watch pbs sober anymore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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