He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
