You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
