the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize