i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Randomize