that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
