the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
