If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
