i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
