if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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