My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
