I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
