She said her name was "party"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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