Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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