If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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