If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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