You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
