i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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