question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
