he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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