How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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