Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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