Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
