Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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